Valentine's Day was awesome! Nancy and I went to The Mad Platter and made ceramic Valentine's hearts for each other....awe... wasn't that sweet. :) It was great fun. I love finding different things to do on holidays that doesn't revolve around food! For those who aren't familiar with stores like this (I wasn't until recently) The Mad Plater is a store you can go and pick out blank ceramic pieces and paint them and write on them however and whatever you want. You leave it there for them to fire and then you get your own hand made ceramic cup, plate, knick-knack or whatever to take home or give as a gift. I took a picture but I can't post it until we use the rest of the role and develop it... so maybe by next year I'll post it. :)
Note to self: When you have the means, get a digital camera.
Nancy and I were very proud of ourselves because we both have neglected to celebrate Valentine's Day AND our anniversary for the 2 years prior. We both agreed that it's not because we forgot or don't love each other; quite the opposite. It's because at our house, everyday is Valentine's Day!! WOOHOO!!! Love is everywhere all the time!
It makes me recall a favorite saying of a dear old friend, "You guys are enough to gag a maggot."
Another highlight of the week was a grid workshop. Actually I have to go back a few weeks and write about a bit of synchronicity that has been happening. Things keep popping up in my life related to sacred geometry/ the golden mean/ Egyptian cubits etc etc. I don't know where all this is going but I have learned that it's in my best interest to pay attention when things like this keep showing up. The work of Slim Spurling in particular keeps popping up. I read his book last year and thought I would like to experiment with his light life rings. The acupuncturist I see uses the tools in sessions with me and I felt a real difference. Something that is hard to put into words.
So to make a long story short, I finally bought some of the tools. They arrived last week and I have been playing with them. I have a larger ring and a personal harmonizer which came with a sacred cubit and lost cubit 1/2 ring I have been wearing on my wrist. So anyway, I go to this grid workshop and the guy who is teaching, it turns out, is from Colorado and knew Slim Spurling and one of the grids is from that same work. (Slim unfortunately passed away this past November.)
So anyway I am very stoked about what I learned and am looking forward to building grids in my home for balancing and healing and creating sacred space. I had been making grids in the form of Native American Medicine Wheels and didn't even know it!
The 811rv has been going wonderfully. I had a breakthrough when I found out there was sea salt in the toothpaste I was using. Can you believe THAT was why I couldn't lose the cravings! I stopped using the toothpaste and haven't had cravings since!
So I was going to write about Montana in this post but I have run out of time and will have to save that for another post.
Monday, February 18, 2008
57% Geek
57%
So this is a fun site. I am 57% geek. How geeky are you? Take other fun quizzes to find out:
- How many 5 year olds you could take in a fight
- How much is your dead body worth?
- Take the moon survival challenge
- and What are your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse?
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Signs of Progress
"I am working on a body transplant, one cell at a time."
We did some yard work this past Sunday. It was from 10-2:30 and I thought I would really be paying for it afterwards for the next several days but really haven't been in all that much pain! There's just been sore hamstrings and shoulders and the usual fibro fatigue but that's about it. No excruciating hip pain and problems walking like has been the case in the past. I also am noticing at the gym being able to do more on the elliptical machine with less pain. And the third thing: there has been a 9 pound weight loss in the past 2 weeks! Cutting out the tofu and hummus really made a huge difference.
So some very exciting things are happening and I can assume it is a result of the 811rv diet because I haven't been doing anything else differently.
I've still been having pretty strong cravings off and on but, thankfully, consistently eating 811rv. And not because of trying to follow a diet but because I genuinely want to. My taste buds seem to be shifting a little bit too. I am tasting more subtleties of fruits and veggies more than ever before. It would make sense that this is due to abstinence from salt and spices. I had some kiwis and strawberries the other day that were in a perfect state of ripeness. The meal consisted of those 2 things only and I have to tell you, it was quite a sensual experience! No meal at any restaurant has topped that experience!
Also an interesting thing I have been noticing is being more in touch with my intuition. I have been experimenting some with being aware of psychic abilities just a little because honestly it still freaks me out some. I don't know why because I know it is natural and everyone has these abilities. I guess because it still has the stigma of being 'out there' and freaky. It is something I have had an interest in ever since I was about 5. I will explore it for a little while and then I will resist it and shut down awareness of it, then get curious and explore it again etc etc etc.
But yesterday I rode with Nancy to pick up a script and there is a little Schnauzer dog in the office where we were going. I met that dog once a few years ago. Nancy made a comment about being happy to see him. While I was listening to that comment I had a flash go through my mind of the image of the dog. She went in the office and I decided to stay in the car. When she came out, she said the dog had on his Valentine's Day collar. That got my attention because my flash was of him in a red collar with white hearts in a straight line. I asked Nancy more specific questions about the collar and the collar he was wearing sounded exactly like the collar I saw on him in my mind before she saw it. I have never actually seen a collar like that and would have no way to know that dog had a collar like that. When I met him before, he was at a distance and I did not pay particular attention to his collar. Did I remotely see the dog and his collar or was there some other more logical explanation?
It seems when my intuition is 'on' little things like this show up without even trying or looking for them. I've heard others talk about similar experiences. Have you had an experiences like this before?
We did some yard work this past Sunday. It was from 10-2:30 and I thought I would really be paying for it afterwards for the next several days but really haven't been in all that much pain! There's just been sore hamstrings and shoulders and the usual fibro fatigue but that's about it. No excruciating hip pain and problems walking like has been the case in the past. I also am noticing at the gym being able to do more on the elliptical machine with less pain. And the third thing: there has been a 9 pound weight loss in the past 2 weeks! Cutting out the tofu and hummus really made a huge difference.
So some very exciting things are happening and I can assume it is a result of the 811rv diet because I haven't been doing anything else differently.
I've still been having pretty strong cravings off and on but, thankfully, consistently eating 811rv. And not because of trying to follow a diet but because I genuinely want to. My taste buds seem to be shifting a little bit too. I am tasting more subtleties of fruits and veggies more than ever before. It would make sense that this is due to abstinence from salt and spices. I had some kiwis and strawberries the other day that were in a perfect state of ripeness. The meal consisted of those 2 things only and I have to tell you, it was quite a sensual experience! No meal at any restaurant has topped that experience!
Also an interesting thing I have been noticing is being more in touch with my intuition. I have been experimenting some with being aware of psychic abilities just a little because honestly it still freaks me out some. I don't know why because I know it is natural and everyone has these abilities. I guess because it still has the stigma of being 'out there' and freaky. It is something I have had an interest in ever since I was about 5. I will explore it for a little while and then I will resist it and shut down awareness of it, then get curious and explore it again etc etc etc.
But yesterday I rode with Nancy to pick up a script and there is a little Schnauzer dog in the office where we were going. I met that dog once a few years ago. Nancy made a comment about being happy to see him. While I was listening to that comment I had a flash go through my mind of the image of the dog. She went in the office and I decided to stay in the car. When she came out, she said the dog had on his Valentine's Day collar. That got my attention because my flash was of him in a red collar with white hearts in a straight line. I asked Nancy more specific questions about the collar and the collar he was wearing sounded exactly like the collar I saw on him in my mind before she saw it. I have never actually seen a collar like that and would have no way to know that dog had a collar like that. When I met him before, he was at a distance and I did not pay particular attention to his collar. Did I remotely see the dog and his collar or was there some other more logical explanation?
It seems when my intuition is 'on' little things like this show up without even trying or looking for them. I've heard others talk about similar experiences. Have you had an experiences like this before?
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Using Your Cents and Sense with Scents
I came across another helpful site, Steve Pavlina. Check out his blog where he thoroughly documents results of his 30 day experiment with 811rv. I found it quite helpful because I have been having some serious cravings the past several days for salty junk food type stuff. I haven't given in to them, but they can be quite maddening from time to time. I have been practicing meditating through them rather than trying to avoid the uncomfortable feelings.
"True comfort also includes learning to be comfortable with discomfort."
So I seem to get more comfortable once I have meditated for a little while but the initial knee jerk reaction to the craving is grasping to quench the discomfort. What I've heard from most people is cravings subside after about 1 or 2 weeks. This is almost 2 weeks and they are still pretty strong. My experience when coming off refined sugar and white flour was that I struggled A LOT with cravings for the first month and after about 3 months I really had no cravings.
I loved the explanation in the movie, "What the Bleep, " about addiction and what happens with the chemical cascades in the brain and how the brain is literally rewiring it's neural pathways when we make changes in our habits. It takes time for those new pathways to be built. It helps to think that with every choice I make I can either choose to reinforce the old pathway that has outlived it's usefulness or to support the building of the new more highly effective habit.
So it occurred to me at some point that I needed to get out and do something fun. I found out about an all day introductory class and "play day" on essential oils and aromatherapy. It sounded exactly what I needed to do so I packed a lunch and headed to Spirit House.
It was a great experience. I learned that I previously had no idea what aromatherapy was. I had this general idea that aromatherapy was about warm fuzzy feelings you got from smelling different fragrances. WOW, how clueless I was! The teacher Cindy Loving from Loving Scents is very knowledgeable. I feel that she opened a whole new world to me and I am eager to learn more.
I found out that essential oils are great antibiotics (that kill the bad bacteria but leave our good beneficial bacteria alone), anti-fungals, and antivirals. There are oils that are good to assist the body with pretty much anything and with mild or no side effects. Again, turning to Mother Nature is the best bet. she takes good care of us if we let her!
In the class we made our own disinfectant/perfume spray. It's really an art learning to combine scents and it's great fun to experiment with different combinations to come up with a personalized fragrance. Mine was a combination of clove bud, citrus, and peppermint. It took a little trial and error to get something that I liked. At first it had quite a strong citrus scent with a slight hint of sweaty gym sock. With the addition of a little more clove I got something that is quite nice. And she says that after 3 days the smell changes anyway so I hope it doesn't end up smelling like gym socks again...lol.
I love the idea of making my own soaps, shampoos, lotions, etc. just because it's fun and also because I know what's in it. Part of the class Cindy shared with us some info about the cosmetics industry and the chemicals they use to make their products. The stuff most companies sell these days in America is laden with chemical crap I'd rather not use; cancer in a bottle with pretty packaging. One example is the synthetic or artificial fragrances that are used in many, many products most Americans use on a daily basis, not only personal hygiene and household cleaning items but things like children's plastic and rubber toys (because those materials naturally stink and need fragrance to cover up the natural bad smell.) Even things like non-scented laundry detergent has artificial fragrance in order to make it not smell! The US Environmental Protection Agency classifies synthetic fragrances in the same category as pesticides and heavy metal solvents for potential adverse health effects. Consider this:
"True comfort also includes learning to be comfortable with discomfort."
So I seem to get more comfortable once I have meditated for a little while but the initial knee jerk reaction to the craving is grasping to quench the discomfort. What I've heard from most people is cravings subside after about 1 or 2 weeks. This is almost 2 weeks and they are still pretty strong. My experience when coming off refined sugar and white flour was that I struggled A LOT with cravings for the first month and after about 3 months I really had no cravings.
I loved the explanation in the movie, "What the Bleep, " about addiction and what happens with the chemical cascades in the brain and how the brain is literally rewiring it's neural pathways when we make changes in our habits. It takes time for those new pathways to be built. It helps to think that with every choice I make I can either choose to reinforce the old pathway that has outlived it's usefulness or to support the building of the new more highly effective habit.
So it occurred to me at some point that I needed to get out and do something fun. I found out about an all day introductory class and "play day" on essential oils and aromatherapy. It sounded exactly what I needed to do so I packed a lunch and headed to Spirit House.
It was a great experience. I learned that I previously had no idea what aromatherapy was. I had this general idea that aromatherapy was about warm fuzzy feelings you got from smelling different fragrances. WOW, how clueless I was! The teacher Cindy Loving from Loving Scents is very knowledgeable. I feel that she opened a whole new world to me and I am eager to learn more.
I found out that essential oils are great antibiotics (that kill the bad bacteria but leave our good beneficial bacteria alone), anti-fungals, and antivirals. There are oils that are good to assist the body with pretty much anything and with mild or no side effects. Again, turning to Mother Nature is the best bet. she takes good care of us if we let her!
In the class we made our own disinfectant/perfume spray. It's really an art learning to combine scents and it's great fun to experiment with different combinations to come up with a personalized fragrance. Mine was a combination of clove bud, citrus, and peppermint. It took a little trial and error to get something that I liked. At first it had quite a strong citrus scent with a slight hint of sweaty gym sock. With the addition of a little more clove I got something that is quite nice. And she says that after 3 days the smell changes anyway so I hope it doesn't end up smelling like gym socks again...lol.
I love the idea of making my own soaps, shampoos, lotions, etc. just because it's fun and also because I know what's in it. Part of the class Cindy shared with us some info about the cosmetics industry and the chemicals they use to make their products. The stuff most companies sell these days in America is laden with chemical crap I'd rather not use; cancer in a bottle with pretty packaging. One example is the synthetic or artificial fragrances that are used in many, many products most Americans use on a daily basis, not only personal hygiene and household cleaning items but things like children's plastic and rubber toys (because those materials naturally stink and need fragrance to cover up the natural bad smell.) Even things like non-scented laundry detergent has artificial fragrance in order to make it not smell! The US Environmental Protection Agency classifies synthetic fragrances in the same category as pesticides and heavy metal solvents for potential adverse health effects. Consider this:
The $35 billion cosmetics industry in America is so powerful that they've kept themselves unregulated for decades. Not one cosmetic product has to be approved by the US Food and Drug Administration before hitting the market. The European Union has banned more than 1,100 chemicals from cosmetics. The United States has banned just 10. Only 11% of chemicals used in cosmetics in the US have been assessed for health and safety – leaving a staggering 89% with unknown or undisclosed effects. It's not just women who are affected by this chemists' brew. Shampoo, deodorant, face lotion and other products used daily by men, women and children contain hazardous chemicals that the industry claims are "within acceptable limits." But there's nothing acceptable about daily multiple exposures to carcinogenic chemicals — from products that are supposed to make us feel healthy and beautiful.I'd like to get to the point where I make all my own personal hygiene products and household cleaning supplies. I am making gradual changes and learning new ways all the time to do this. Or if I stick to the 811rv long term I may not need personal hygiene concoctions at all! I have heard some long term raw foodists claim they don't require the use of soap, shampoo or deodorant any more. I have heard believable claims that it is not natural for us to stink and that it is the altered and adulterated food we eat and toxic chemicals we use that gives us body odor to begin with. So for whatever that's worth. It would be interesting to find out first hand if that is true. :)
"Not Just a Pretty Face: The Ugly Side of the Beauty Industry," Stacy Malkan
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Perfectionism
I've started to write several times and stopped myself in the middle and didn't finish. It's funny how I want to sound smart and profound and "Hey, what you write is going to be in front of the whole world to see.' But I'm a terrible speller and I am bad at grammer and I'll sound stupid...blah, blah, blah...
If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well--- but if I won't accept less than perfect it will NEVER get done at all!
So stop taking myself so seriously and get on with my check in for today. I am still doing 811rv. I was even successful through my birthday! I went to an Ascension workshop this weekend and it was awesome. My partner and a few friends went for the first time and it was a great experience to share with all of them!
----
"A painting is never finished. It just stops in interesting places." Paul Gardner
"Do not fear mistakes. There are none." Miles Davis
"Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us nothing we do will be good enough. Perfectionism has nothing to do with getting it right, fixing things, or having standards. Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. The unexamined life is not worth living, consider too, the unlived life is not worth examining."
"The Artist's Way" Julia Cameron
If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well--- but if I won't accept less than perfect it will NEVER get done at all!
So stop taking myself so seriously and get on with my check in for today. I am still doing 811rv. I was even successful through my birthday! I went to an Ascension workshop this weekend and it was awesome. My partner and a few friends went for the first time and it was a great experience to share with all of them!
----
"A painting is never finished. It just stops in interesting places." Paul Gardner
"Do not fear mistakes. There are none." Miles Davis
"Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us nothing we do will be good enough. Perfectionism has nothing to do with getting it right, fixing things, or having standards. Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. The unexamined life is not worth living, consider too, the unlived life is not worth examining."
"The Artist's Way" Julia Cameron
Friday, February 1, 2008
Everywhere a Fruit
Today is the beginning of day 4 of my 811 raw foods journey. Well technically I started earlier than that but it's day 4 of me really sticking to it. It's going well. The times I have the most problems is when Nancy is cooking her dinner and it smells sooo good.
I've been eating lots of apples, pears, and bananas. I had the first good strawberries this week that there have been in a long while. I got a great deal on Mangos 5 for 4$ at the grocery store. so I stocked up on mangos.
Here's my dream. I would love to have a house with a good bit of land and have a permaculture garden. Or even a neighborhood permaculture garden, preferably in a tropical climate. That would be so awesome. I'd love to grow my own food and get in touch with the land in a community of people. That just seems so rich. I sound like a big ol' hippie don't I ...LOL.
I've been eating lots of apples, pears, and bananas. I had the first good strawberries this week that there have been in a long while. I got a great deal on Mangos 5 for 4$ at the grocery store. so I stocked up on mangos.
Here's my dream. I would love to have a house with a good bit of land and have a permaculture garden. Or even a neighborhood permaculture garden, preferably in a tropical climate. That would be so awesome. I'd love to grow my own food and get in touch with the land in a community of people. That just seems so rich. I sound like a big ol' hippie don't I ...LOL.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
It's a Beautiful Day
"My life is like a good book I just can't put down."
Today was so warm and beautiful Nancy and I went for a walk with the dogs. The sky was blue and the sun was shining a little nip in the air.
I just want to report that I am
WarGames
"We surrender to win."
What are you fighting with today? I was talking to a good friend and she helped me notice that I was in the food too much again. Something I have realized again and again is that obsessive thinking in any capacity is not helpful. I make a decision not to eat something and this rebellious part of me comes out and seems to only want to eat that thing I said I wasn't going to eat. The craving to eat whatever it is takes on an obsessive quality to it. And the other side of the same coin, even when I am successful at following a plan of eating, I can get just as obsessive in my thinking about that. The obsession about food is still there. It doesn't matter if the object of the obsession is about a craving or about health.
It makes me wonder if staking the position, or obsession itself, is the problem rather than the object that is being obsessed about? And I guess that's what's meant by the expression, "Turn it over to God."
I also think of that old movie "WarGames" with Matthew Broderick. Broderick's character hacks into a military computer and it starts playing a game of thermonuclear war which threatens to start World War III. The take home message being that sometimes the only way to win a game is not to play.
This doesn't mean I am giving up doing raw foods, it means I am giving up being so obsessive about it and trying just to do it by willpower. I did really well yesterday in sticking with it and I am extra motivated because I went to the doctor's and got on the scale. I actually gained weight and wasn't too happy about it. This is what started the whole obsessive downward spiral in thinking.
So I am committed to sticking with the 80/10/10 raw vegan plan for the next 2 weeks and seeing if there is improvement.
What are you fighting with today? I was talking to a good friend and she helped me notice that I was in the food too much again. Something I have realized again and again is that obsessive thinking in any capacity is not helpful. I make a decision not to eat something and this rebellious part of me comes out and seems to only want to eat that thing I said I wasn't going to eat. The craving to eat whatever it is takes on an obsessive quality to it. And the other side of the same coin, even when I am successful at following a plan of eating, I can get just as obsessive in my thinking about that. The obsession about food is still there. It doesn't matter if the object of the obsession is about a craving or about health.
It makes me wonder if staking the position, or obsession itself, is the problem rather than the object that is being obsessed about? And I guess that's what's meant by the expression, "Turn it over to God."
I also think of that old movie "WarGames" with Matthew Broderick. Broderick's character hacks into a military computer and it starts playing a game of thermonuclear war which threatens to start World War III. The take home message being that sometimes the only way to win a game is not to play.
This doesn't mean I am giving up doing raw foods, it means I am giving up being so obsessive about it and trying just to do it by willpower. I did really well yesterday in sticking with it and I am extra motivated because I went to the doctor's and got on the scale. I actually gained weight and wasn't too happy about it. This is what started the whole obsessive downward spiral in thinking.
So I am committed to sticking with the 80/10/10 raw vegan plan for the next 2 weeks and seeing if there is improvement.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Hall of Mirrors
"Last night I had a dream I was a butterfly. Now I'm not sure, am I a butterfly who is dreaming being human or am I human dreaming to be a butterfly?" Unknown
I remember the first time I realized that I had absolutely no contact with the world outside my own mind. It felt like breaking free of a prison I didn't even know I was in. I was in a college philosophy class and we were talking about reality. and how do we know what reality is?
I know what my senses tell me but my senses can't be trusted to tell the truth. My senses tell me the world is flat and stationary and I know that's not so. The demonstration in class that day was that we were to write what we saw in front of us, very simply. I saw a green chalk board.
Photos of light come from the sun and bounce of this object and into the rods and cones of my eyeballs which send information through my optic nerve to my brain. the brain processes this and comes out with green chalk board. So the whole lesson was illustrating basically how the green chalkboard exists in my brain and what is actually "out there" in the world we really don't know. We only have the very limited information that our senses tell us which we each have our own different filters this info goes through as well. We only ever see our mind in what ever we are looking at. I don't even know what's actually there and I am sure as hell not qualified to comment on it. What I see is MY truth not necessarily THE truth.
What I see in the world is always a reflection of my mind.
And on a slightly different train of thought, the idea that our body and the world are the same thing. If I understand correctly, other cultures have words that describe this idea but the English language does not have a word that describes us this way. We tend to think of our body as separate from it's world even though we have absolutely no evidence that supports that. Have you ever experienced your body without it's environment? Have you ever experienced the world without your body? So why do we think they are 2 separate things? In fact, the Ishaya's do call it our 'body-world.' I have heard Wayne Dyer use the term 'environ-organisms' to express the same idea.
I have no idea why I wrote about this today. It was just on my mind. I was inspired by Douglas's comment and just went off on a tangent... :)
I remember the first time I realized that I had absolutely no contact with the world outside my own mind. It felt like breaking free of a prison I didn't even know I was in. I was in a college philosophy class and we were talking about reality. and how do we know what reality is?
I know what my senses tell me but my senses can't be trusted to tell the truth. My senses tell me the world is flat and stationary and I know that's not so. The demonstration in class that day was that we were to write what we saw in front of us, very simply. I saw a green chalk board.
Photos of light come from the sun and bounce of this object and into the rods and cones of my eyeballs which send information through my optic nerve to my brain. the brain processes this and comes out with green chalk board. So the whole lesson was illustrating basically how the green chalkboard exists in my brain and what is actually "out there" in the world we really don't know. We only have the very limited information that our senses tell us which we each have our own different filters this info goes through as well. We only ever see our mind in what ever we are looking at. I don't even know what's actually there and I am sure as hell not qualified to comment on it. What I see is MY truth not necessarily THE truth.
What I see in the world is always a reflection of my mind.
And on a slightly different train of thought, the idea that our body and the world are the same thing. If I understand correctly, other cultures have words that describe this idea but the English language does not have a word that describes us this way. We tend to think of our body as separate from it's world even though we have absolutely no evidence that supports that. Have you ever experienced your body without it's environment? Have you ever experienced the world without your body? So why do we think they are 2 separate things? In fact, the Ishaya's do call it our 'body-world.' I have heard Wayne Dyer use the term 'environ-organisms' to express the same idea.
I have no idea why I wrote about this today. It was just on my mind. I was inspired by Douglas's comment and just went off on a tangent... :)
Monday, January 28, 2008
The Spiritual Experience
" If it is spoken, it is already a distortion of truth."
A spiritual experience is just that, an experience. It seems that it can't be truly shared with words. I have been to the beach. If you have never been to a beach before, I could tell you my experience of the beach. I can give you directions to the beach. You could even get in the car with me and I could take you to the beach.
Not so with spiritual experiences. I can describe my spiritual experience to you. I can tell you how I got there, but I can't take you there. You must take your journey and have your own experience.
spiritual blunder #327
Many people find God and many are life long spiritual seekers.
One day some spiritual seekers found some spiritual finders and the finders tried to help the seekers become finders too. The finders pointed their fingers toward God and said, "Look there is God." The seekers then looked at the pointed finger and exclaimed, "Ah-ha, there is God!" They began to make icons of and worship the pointed finger. They got stuck on what was doing the pointing rather than discover what was being pointed to.
My teacher, Kali, most always opens her lessons by saying, "Nothing I am about to say is the truth." My internal response to that is usually relaxation. I am reminded to not take thoughts so seriously. I can't even claim the thoughts are mine anymore because it's starting to seem that everyone is plugged into the same thought river. I notice how the mind seems to always be poised to stamp something as either ACCEPTED or REJECTED. The relaxation helps to turn inward and notice what happens between the thoughts. Have you ever noticed what exists between thoughts?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A spiritual experience is just that, an experience. It seems that it can't be truly shared with words. I have been to the beach. If you have never been to a beach before, I could tell you my experience of the beach. I can give you directions to the beach. You could even get in the car with me and I could take you to the beach.
Not so with spiritual experiences. I can describe my spiritual experience to you. I can tell you how I got there, but I can't take you there. You must take your journey and have your own experience.
spiritual blunder #327
Many people find God and many are life long spiritual seekers.
One day some spiritual seekers found some spiritual finders and the finders tried to help the seekers become finders too. The finders pointed their fingers toward God and said, "Look there is God." The seekers then looked at the pointed finger and exclaimed, "Ah-ha, there is God!" They began to make icons of and worship the pointed finger. They got stuck on what was doing the pointing rather than discover what was being pointed to.
My teacher, Kali, most always opens her lessons by saying, "Nothing I am about to say is the truth." My internal response to that is usually relaxation. I am reminded to not take thoughts so seriously. I can't even claim the thoughts are mine anymore because it's starting to seem that everyone is plugged into the same thought river. I notice how the mind seems to always be poised to stamp something as either ACCEPTED or REJECTED. The relaxation helps to turn inward and notice what happens between the thoughts. Have you ever noticed what exists between thoughts?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the core of your being is something stronger and deeper than any thought or emotion, and this something must be followed.
Ultimately you know. Then the challenge is to surrender. The challenge is to honor what you know beyond knowing, and to accept the knowing beyond any attempt to mentally prove it.
Trust the deepest intuitive knowing within you regardless of the inconvenience.
When you get into relationship with your own self appearing as teacher, it is usually quite ruthless. There is no possibility to own, to control, or to direct.
If you have met a true master, you will find it is impossible to adopt either stance. You are not allowed to imagine yourself as either dependent or independent.
People who look deeper get to experience the endless depth of a raging tiger who will destroy your suffering; blessedly and ruthlessly.
Anything else is just child's play--playing a game of awakening, while always attempting to maintain control.
From "You are That" Gangaji
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Dieting Doesn't Work
So I haven't been very focused on this for the last few days. I have been eating mostly fruit and some greens but then at night I have been giving in to tofu cravings. And it seems weird to be craving tofu, of all things! And I went out to dinner at a Thai place and had mainly raw and cooked veggies.
I'm not trying to be perfect about this whole thing. I have tried "dieting" for so many years that today I tend to agree with this:
Everything in this room is eatable. Even *I'm* eatable! But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. Willy Wonka
I'm not trying to be perfect about this whole thing. I have tried "dieting" for so many years that today I tend to agree with this:
So I've eaten the last of the tofu and I am consciously making a decision to not buy more. I am curious to find out what this is about. I highly suspect it is emotional so guess I'll have to feel something.Diets fail because they are predicated on a desire to replace something ‘bad’ with something ‘good’. This kind of illusory thinking sets up all kinds of resistance in an already threatened system. We all are habituated or ‘addicted’ in a sense to whatever we require to maintain an acceptable level of function. The things we depend on should never be thought of as bad for us as this type of thinking just adds to the negative impact of our environmental circumstances. Rather we might consider a gentle systematic approach with an eye toward becoming differently adapted to a more helpful set of environmental signals. There need not be any sense of substituting something good for something bad...
..It appears much is being made of specialized diets consisting of most or all uncooked food. Though an interesting twist in the history of diet reform as a means to physical and spiritual enlightenment, the suggestion of ‘raw food’ as a single point solution falls short of providing a complete reality map one could follow to a satisfying conclusion. With the level of compromise most of us have experienced at least on the physical level, even the most gradual attempts to reform our environment will eventually be met with insurmountable resistance. Diet as well as any other environmental outcome is the result of years of adaptation which controls how we filter our universe. Perhaps it would be wiser to consider gently transitioning our filtering interface rather than using another’s will power as a crutch. BLINDGURU
Everything in this room is eatable. Even *I'm* eatable! But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. Willy Wonka
Monday, January 21, 2008
811rv Day 1
Today is Day 1 of my 811rv food plan.
I am keeping track of what I eat and how much at www.nutridairy.com
Damn this seems like a lot of fruit. I am having some doubts about this but I am going to try it for at least 2 weeks and see what happens. I have read the book. I have heard Dr Graham's claim of busting the myths of why humans should avoid eating too much fruit. I will need to see the results for myself. I mean, after all, every single diet book I have read seems to give logical well researched evidence (with testimonials) clearly demonstrating how their diet is best.
My own research and previous 20 years experience with dieting and searching for health has lead me to 80/10/10 raw vegan, so we'll see what happens.
Day one wasn't so hard. I miss the fat and salt but other than that it was pretty easy. I really enjoyed my dinner. It was a blended salad of
8 oz spring mix
3 stalks celery
1/2 papaya
garnished with 6 oz raspberries
It was awesome!
I am keeping track of what I eat and how much at www.nutridairy.com
Damn this seems like a lot of fruit. I am having some doubts about this but I am going to try it for at least 2 weeks and see what happens. I have read the book. I have heard Dr Graham's claim of busting the myths of why humans should avoid eating too much fruit. I will need to see the results for myself. I mean, after all, every single diet book I have read seems to give logical well researched evidence (with testimonials) clearly demonstrating how their diet is best.
My own research and previous 20 years experience with dieting and searching for health has lead me to 80/10/10 raw vegan, so we'll see what happens.
Day one wasn't so hard. I miss the fat and salt but other than that it was pretty easy. I really enjoyed my dinner. It was a blended salad of
8 oz spring mix
3 stalks celery
1/2 papaya
garnished with 6 oz raspberries
It was awesome!
*After* then but *Before* Later
Through learning how to both love myself and manage energy more effectively, I have been able to release 107 lbs of excess weight. I still say it's a *Before* shot because I have 60-80 more lbs to go before getting to my healthy, ideal weight. I still live with the fibro and CFS, but it's much better than it used to be.
I get reminders all the time that it's not all about the weight. It's not about the food. Are you happy, joyous and free? Are you living authentically? Do you love and are you loved? To that I say, "YES!"
*After* Then but *Before* Now
This is me (left) and my beautiful, loving, hilarious, supportive, crazy, adorable wife, Nancy. (I may get extra points for publishing that on the web!) This pic is from about 4-5 years ago. My health had improved some but there were still problems. The medications were making things worse not better. I decided to come off all of them. Just by doing that I lost 20 pounds without even trying.
When I was able to get out of bed, I spent a lot of time researching. I looked lots of places for some sort of treatment that would help me get better. Somewhere in my gut I knew health and wellbeing are my birthright. I searched in western medicine, eastern medicine, many types of alternative medicine, psychology, body work and energy work. While on my own healing path I got quite an interesting education.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
*Before* Picture
Here is a picture of my dad and I when I was sick. I was embarassed to have my picture taken so this is the only picture I could find of me at that time. (And now here I am posting it on the web.) Instead of feeling embarrassed for how I looked, now I just feel grateful that I don't feel like that anymore.
My dad isn't all that tan, but he sure does look it in this picture, compared to my pasty yellowish-white complexion. This was taken sometime in the late 90's, not too long after I had been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). I was also (incorrectly) diagnosed with bipolar disorder and on a lot of different medications. I was eating SAD (Standard American Diet) and often binging on junk food. I weighed about 300 lbs. My highest weight that I know of was 321 lbs. I stopped weighing myself after that. I would not be surprised if it actually got closer to 350. I don't believe there is a picture that exists of me at my highest weight.
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