WarGames

"We surrender to win."

What are you fighting with today? I was talking to a good friend and she helped me notice that I was in the food too much again. Something I have realized again and again is that obsessive thinking in any capacity is not helpful. I make a decision not to eat something and this rebellious part of me comes out and seems to only want to eat that thing I said I wasn't going to eat. The craving to eat whatever it is takes on an obsessive quality to it. And the other side of the same coin, even when I am successful at following a plan of eating, I can get just as obsessive in my thinking about that. The obsession about food is still there. It doesn't matter if the object of the obsession is about a craving or about health.

It makes me wonder if staking the position, or obsession itself, is the problem rather than the object that is being obsessed about? And I guess that's what's meant by the expression, "Turn it over to God."

I also think of that old movie "WarGames" with Matthew Broderick. Broderick's character hacks into a military computer and it starts playing a game of thermonuclear war which threatens to start World War III. The take home message being that sometimes the only way to win a game is not to play.

This doesn't mean I am giving up doing raw foods, it means I am giving up being so obsessive about it and trying just to do it by willpower. I did really well yesterday in sticking with it and I am extra motivated because I went to the doctor's and got on the scale. I actually gained weight and wasn't too happy about it. This is what started the whole obsessive downward spiral in thinking.

So I am committed to sticking with the 80/10/10 raw vegan plan for the next 2 weeks and seeing if there is improvement.